As I mentioned in a previous post, my mother died when I was younger. She had been sick most, really all, of her life. I remember her telling me once that when she was born the doctors told her mother that she wouldn't make it to 5. I don't have children but I can't imagine what that would be like to hold her new daughter and have some give you time limit on how long you had to keep her.
Still my mother made it 5 and then 6 and her teens and though college. She got married and when she was pregnant they told her that she would never live to see me but she just shrugged and carried on. She lived to see me; lived to raise me and when I asked her about it once she just said it was all about faith.
She had faith that God was going to heal her or at least let her see me grow up. She held on to that faith through every doctor's visit and hospital stay. When her marriage ended and her heal got worse. She tried her best to make sure that her heal didn't hold me back from doing anything that I wanted and she was there for every school play, choir performance, band recital, talent show and pageant that I was in.
She got up every morning and went to work for as long as she could and when she couldn't anymore she got up and went to church. She helped her friend start and build his church, she contributed to the prison ministry, she taught others how to play piano so that they could also give back. She encouraged others through visits and prayerful phone calls. Each day she tried to do something that honored her faith.
When she died I was angry for the longest time. Her faith had been so strong that she had made all of us believe. She had been sick since forever and yet everyone took her death as a surprise. We all stood in that faith with her. It took a long time for me to see that her faith had been rewarded.
She had made it further than any doctor had ever thought she would and she had seen me grow up. Maybe not as grown up as she or I would have wanted but still far more than what was predicted. She had had a chance to teach me and share with me and help me to become the woman that I am still working toward becoming.
There are still days that I wish more than anything that she was still here to guide me or give me her opinion but when I'm not sure what to do I don't have to wonder what my mother would say or would have done. I just have to pray and have faith and I know that whatever courage I need will be there. Thanks mom.